Holding space

There are a few things that will be useful to establish before you begin - or in your first meeting - that will support you to get the most out of the summit. Here we touch on a few.

Group purpose

As mentioned above, one of the things you will need to agree with your group members is the main purpose of your meeting. Is it to watch as many videos together as you can? To get to know one another better? To look at how you might address specific issues in your group?

All of these and many others could be right for you, but it's important that everyone in the group feels clear about and is in agreement with the main purpose. You may find it helpful to write this down so that you can return to it if there’s disagreement - it may also support the group to self-evaluate at the end of the summit, the extent to which your journey has been as you expected. Your agreement, should you choose to use one, might look something like this:

The purpose of this group is:

• To use the videos and invitations of each week to explore our groups attitudes to conflict and see where we might want to develop further over the coming year.

We will do this by:

• Meeting for 2 hours a week over the next 5 weeks to watch together, discuss and develop our shared thinking.

• Creating a safe and welcoming atmosphere so we can think generatively together.

• Sharing some inner practices in service to the two means above.

Roles

It may be useful for you to set roles - either for the duration of the summit or taking turns each session. Useful roles are:

• Facilitator - someone who ensures the meeting flows well, that everyone gets a chance to speak and that process issues are dealt with.

• Note taker - if your group decides it wants notes to be taken

• Heart keeper - someone to be sensitive to the emotional and physical level of the meeting - to suggest breaks or change of mode, to note if the emotional intensity of the meeting has gone up and needs the conscious attention of the group.

Group agreement/s

It can be useful to spend a little time talking about your agreements as a group in the first session. Here (with many thanks for permission to share) are the Inner Resilience Network US’s deep dive agreements - feel free to use them as they are or as inspiration to create others better suited to your group’s needs:

OUR AGREEMENTS

(can be changed as time passes and insights arise):

We maintain confidentiality,

We speak our truth from our hearts and souls.

We remain on the agreed upon topic.

We share as deeply/personally as we are comfortable.

We allow uncomfortable emotions without over-comforting or giving advice.

We orient away from administrative issues and towards inner inquiry.

We stay present authentically and honestly.

We listen to ourselves and to others deeply and respectfully.

We don’t cross talk during the circle.

We take responsibility for ourselves.

We suspend judgment.

We respect ourselves and others.

We maintain an open mind about the process and content.

We share the time fairly and are mindful of our airtime.

We read these agreements at the beginning of each conflict summit